Technorati Tags: Divorce For Men, Divorce Man, Divorce Men, Men For Divorce

Many men ask this question, and it’s not always about the money issue.  Often hiring a divorce attorney who only cares about himself can drag out a divorce and billing hours, and there are some alternatives, depending on where you live. 

With the average cost of Divorce For Men in the US at somewhere between $15,000 and $30,000 when you go the conventional route of using attorneys, are there other options?  The answer is yes.  In a conventional divorce with attorneys, most of this money goes to the attorneys.  Here are some guidelines if you are seeking a cheap divorce.

•    Mediations – if you can a good divorce mediator can cost about one-third of using attorneys, still a big chunk but if you have the money, and don’t know how to fight for your rights, a mediator can often lower the total cost of the divorce.
•    Check with the county clerk’s office where you live.  In most cases, they will be able to tell you how to file for divorce on your own or at the very least file for a legal separation while you and your spouse decide the best route to take.  If you have a lot of assets, this may not be your smartest option, but if you are like most of us, the county clerk’s office can guide you through the process of obtaining a relatively cheap divorce.  Don’t expect all the people in these government offices to be happy about helping you—in fact, they may get sick of you, but your taxes pay their wages so it’s your right to utilize this option.
•    Divorce websites – There are many of these that offer up ways to obtain and file the correct forms in your state.  If you go this route, make sure you aren’t paying too much for their “form” services and research more than one site.  Make sure you find a site that has a phone number where a live person actually answers the telephone and you aren’t forced to communicate via email.
•    Unbundling – In 1993, the unbundling type of ending a marriage was first used.  This allows you to maintain control but if you and your wife agree to do this, it does require you both feel strong enough that you can decide things on your own without the help of a third party including the filing of any legal forms required in your state.  You can find out about unbundling by doing a search on your Internet browser.
•    Divorce attorney – The best way to figure out if you want to go this route is to ask yourself, if you can afford it, if you can afford possibly paying your wife’s attorney’s fees, and if you have property you know you won’t be able to agree on splitting fairly.  Also, if you think your wife is going to be pretty nasty about it all, you probably don’t want much contact with her so hiring a divorce attorney can help you avoid that.  If you must hire a divorce attorney, to keep your divorce cheap, try to do as much work as you can on your own.  In your initial meeting, ask what you can do to save on billable hours and explain frankly that you don’t want to spend a lot of the dissolution of your marriage.  Most divorce attorneys, or at least the good ones, will help you on this end.
•    Hire a paralegal.  In almost every state, you can find a paralegal that can help you file for divorce at a much cheaper rate than a divorce attorney would cost.  Their costs are considerably lower than a lawyer and they are best used in cases where you and your spouse think you will able to agree on the terms of your divorce settlement.

You can get a cheap divorce by doing it alone and filing all the right paperwork and often, people waste a lot of money on attorneys because they don’t take the time to communicate with their spouse to see if they are open to using a cheaper method.  If you have a nasty ex-to-be, you may have to shell out some bucks, but if you file for a legal separation in your state at the county clerk’s office and give her some time to cool down, chances are she’ll be willing to at least try and talk about how you both can save money and keep the nasty stuff out of the process.

Learn How To Win Your Divorce Without Losing Your Shorts or Your Kids!

Technorati Tags: Divorce For Men, Divorce Man, Divorce Men, Men For Divorce

Men who face divorce seem to be judged as the bad guy and the wife is the victim in the process—the kids too.  Divorce about judging is not a good thing and sometimes we men fall into the trap of thinking we are the bad guy and that, my friends, will bring mistakes on your part if you don’t think things through.  Here are the most common mistakes we men make when facing divorce:

•    Trusting a divorce attorney – Just because someone is a divorce attorney doesn’t mean they have your best interests at heart.  Most divorce lawyers struggle throughout their careers never really catching that big profile divorce, so that drudgery sometimes doesn’t work in your favor.  Remember that your divorce lawyer is supposed to be on your side and actually fight for you.  If your lawyer is making you do all the work or seems not to care that much, find another one.
•    Don’t leave home – This is probably the biggest mistake men make when divorce is first discussed. They move out right away to keep the peace and this does not place you in a good position as far as the legal system is concerned.  Moving out is a way your wife’s attorney can argue that you don’t need your home and can afford to live without it and, if you have children, her attorney can also argue that you abandoned them—this is not good for the custody portion of your divorce so stay in the house unless you are forced to leave by court order.
•    It’s my fault – Emotions can really toy with a mind—even a man’s mind so don’t feel like just because you are supposed to be the “stronger” sex, you can’t wear your heart on your sleeve.  You are absolutely allowed to be unhappy, lost; feel victimized by the courts, and feeling misunderstood. I’m not saying you need to go around moaning about your divorce all the time, but be frank with your closest friends and older children—it’s not all your fault so don’t hold all the blame on your shoulders because that’s a heavy load.
•    Alimony – Divorce in not about alimony.  Sure, some men may get stuck paying some alimony or spousal support, but don’t be tricked into paying more than you should.  If your ex has never worked and just raised the kids, you may have to shell out some spousal support, but use your attorney, the judge, or anyone who will listen to you and tell them after a certain point, she should be expected to handle her life on her own—without your money.
•    Be informed about divorce - This is a big one.  Take some time to find out how a divorce works.  Browse the Internet for divorced men blogs or divorce tips.  If you don’t know how your state determines child support, what discovery and equitable distribution means, learn about them.  Read a book so you aren’t lost in the divorce process.
•    Blaming your wife – This may sound a little contradictory because she’s always thought of as the victim, but if you tell everyone you meet what a bitch she is and how she ruined your life, you can bet it will get back to her and she’ll use that against you.  If you need to blow off steam, do it with one close friend or relative and try to keep your emotions level.

Divorce is never easy and why society thinks it is easier for men is really inaccurate.  Divorce is about the wife, the husband, and the kids and how those three entities that used to be one will be split apart.  Keep a cool head about your divorce and stay informed about the legal process.  Fight for your kids, your assets, and your right to have a fair spousal support term—and most of all, fire that attorney if they aren’t doing an effective job.

Learn How To Win Your Divorce Without Losing Your Shorts or Your Kids!

Technorati Tags: Divorce For Men, Divorce Man, Divorce Men, Men For Divorce

I remember, years ago, when I came home from the then on-the-road job I had Monday through Friday to find my wife and daughter gone and all that was left was one pot, one fork, one knife, and one plate.  Divorce For Men is never easy, but what I learned from mine may help you!  First of all, once she contacted me and told me she wanted a divorce, an obvious fact from the empty house, we agreed to hire one lawyer to get us through it all.  This is a big mistake so don’t do this!

Still thinking in my heart we would get back together, I was stupid enough to be talked into signing a legal document that said (if she needed it); I would pay her alimony for LIFE!  At first my ex-wife was nice and she never asked for alimony and I was happy I got good visits with my daughter and paid my child support with pride.

Then I met my second wife, the love of my life who I am still married to after 19 years, although I like to add the years I was married to my first wife in at 13 to get to 32 years, a number I will remember—or like to think of as wearing that old ball and chain for quite some time.  But I am going off track.

Divorce for men shouldn’t be like mine.  When my new wife and I decided to leave my hometown that my ex-wife still lived in, that’s when she went to our old trusted attorney with that old alimony document I signed and well, the law will find you wherever you go and they found me in sunny Phoenix just trying to have a normal life!

I had to fly back to my old hometown a whopping ten times to go before a judge—all men who I thought would be on my side—they weren’t.  When my paycheck got attached through a court order, I ended up with weekly checks for about $2.00 after all the alimony was taken out—it also included my child support, but I’m not complaining about that.  How did my ex-wife expect me to live on $2.00 a week!  This was in 1989 and is all true.

Finally, at my wits end, I went to court in my hometown for the 11th time!  Luckily my old male judge was gone but a stern looking female judge sat before me.  Surprisingly, she looked right at my ex-wife and said, “What are you trying to do to this man?  He has a life!  Go get a job!”  I was reeling when I left the courtroom and even more excited when I got the first paycheck that was more than $2.00.

Divorce for men is hard because that old lawyer we both hired never really had my best interests at heart or he would have never suggested I sign the stupid life-alimony document in the first place.  My advice here, find an attorney and take him out for a beer and ask him questions like, “Are you divorced?  Was it a bad one?”  If they say yes to both of these questions, hire them on the spot!  In any event, I am very happy now, but those years of alimony were trying years, I almost lost my home in Phoenix, and my new wife was really angry through it all.  I think of it as one of life’s learning experiences and happily tell my male friends who are thinking about divorce that divorce for men is way easier if you are the fairer sex!

Learn How To Win Your Divorce Without Losing Your Shorts or Your Kids!

Technorati Tags: Divorce For Men, Divorce Man, Divorce Men, Men For Divorce

There are important things all men should know who are about to enter into the world of the divorce man.  If you think about it, how many men do you know who are divorced and they lost their house, never see their kids, and pay way to much child support that their ex-wives are using to buy new clothes?  Probably a lot of Men For Divorce you know face this exact situation.

Let’s face the truth, when it comes to divorce attorneys and divorce court, it’s not usually fair to us guys for some reason and it shouldn’t be just because we are men and considered to be not the appropriate parent to raise our kids—just pay for the ex to raise them and have no input.

The divorce man faces many bumps in the road during the divorce process and there are a few things that you can do on your end to make sure you aren’t left in a small apartment struggling to make ends meet!

• Do your research on how divorce works in your state.  Even if you have to read books, watch DVDs, or join a men’s divorce group—do these things because what you can learn is gold when going through a divorce.
• Find out about how assets are shared and make sure you end up with your fair share.
• Make sure any agreement you make with your ex will include the correct amount of visitation with you kids as you want.
• Or, if you think you are the better parent, don’t be afraid to take the time to prove it in court or with an arbitrator.  Speak up for yourself!
• The divorce man faces that old obstacle of alimony sometimes as well.  If you MUST pay alimony, make sure it’s for a short period of time.  Your ex is not supposed to live off of your earnings the rest of her life and watch her soap operas and eat bon-bons all day.
• Don’t agree to give your ex things or assets you bought together—especially the ones you want like your car or that pool table she never liked.  Often since the justice system is not on the man’s side, if you don’t speak up, she’ll get it all and sell it all.
• Remember that divorce attorneys make more money if they win all the stuff your ex asks for—they really only have her best interest at heart.
• Join some online men’s blogs about divorce or a chat room where you can share war stories.  This sometimes helps the divorce man feel he is not alone and you’ll be pretty surprised at all the things exes can do and even learn more on how to protect yourself.
• If your children are old enough, be open and honest with them about the divorce and even if they bad mouth your ex—don’t you do this, after all she is their mother, so keep it more about creating a bond between yourself and your kids.
• Get back out there!  Your ex is probably out there, so don’t brood and sit at home or go to the local bar with only your buddies all the time.
• Good places for the divorce man to find dates are church socials, the grocery store, the library, and you can always try the Internet.  The Internet is becoming quite popular in pairing people up and maybe you’ll end up with someone you should have married in the first place.

Facing divorce is not a pleasant experience and some men fall in the trap of letting it ruin their lives. Don’t be one of these types of Divorce Man, pull up your courage and start learning on your own how you are your best advocate to keep the assets you want and even fight for your kids if that’s what you want.  Be strong, get help, and stand up for yourself—don’t let your ex-wife’s attorney take you down the long ride of divorce road where you end up with nothing.

Learn How To Win Your Divorce Without Losing Your Shorts or Your Kids!

Technorati Tags: Divorce For Men, Divorce Man, Divorce Men, Men For Divorce

How long would it take a man to get over being divorced by his wife after 5 years and cleaned out financially? I know a guy of 41 who got divorced in his early 30s (no kids) and is still scared of settling down again. How much time does he need??
It depends on his mind that how intelligent is he ??? hope ! have a nice day and nice dream

Divorce is not easy, especially for men.  You usually only end up with visitation rights for the kids and the lawyer for your ex-wife-to-be has an IQ of 186 and they use every part of that IQ to make sure you end up with nothing—sometimes even visits with your own children.  So it’s not an easy thing we divorce men face.  But with a little advice, we can endure and get back on track.

I asked a buddy friend of mine about his divorce and he gave me a lot of divorce men advice that I’ll share with you here.  I used this advice and recommend it to all men:

•    First, I found out quickly how to find the right attorney that had my interests at heart, not my ex-wife-to-be.  This is easy if you take the time to interview attorneys.

•    I also went to our local courthouse to find out every step of a divorce including filing procedures.

•    Through my attorney, I learned the art of negotiation, Donald Trump style and even got my alimony lowered.  I also found out from my buddy how the courts in my town looked at child support and made sure I was paying my fair share and not more.  Why should my ex-wife live off of my kids child support?

•    I joined a Divorce Men group that told me how I could stay a part of my kid’s lives and learned how to talk to them about the divorce so they didn’t just blame me!

•    I also found out that attempting to dress poorly in court is not a good thing, so try and look your best, judges see right through that.

•    My attorney was good and taught me all about assets and gave my wife’s attorney a run for her money.

•    Through my negotiations, I was able to save on a trial divorce and everything was settled through an arbitrator the judge assigned.  Judges like it when you can settle things with an arbitrator—they really don’t want to be involved in your messy divorce; after all, they probably have been through a divorce or two themselves.

•    Even though I did use an attorney, I learned so much that when another buddy asked me about divorce, I was able to help him file his own papers, watch out for his assets, get an affordable child support level set, and how to represent yourself in front of a judge.

I found in my divorce experience that men who face this are sometimes really alone and don’t get a fair shake.  I found this through other men I met in the hallways of our courthouse trying to find out the best tips on how to avoid all the expensive stuff and still be able to keep your deserved assets, you pride, dignity, and your rightful visits with your own children.

I recommend a divorce men group if you are going through a tough divorce because these guys have seen it all. There are also great books and DVDs on the subject that focus on the men’s point of view in a divorce and what you can do to ensure you get the best deal.  Like I said, divorce is never easy, but be wise about your divorce and get some help!

Learn How To Win Your Divorce Without Losing Your Shorts or Your Kids!

Technorati Tags: Divorce For Men, Divorce Man, Divorce Men, Men For Divorce

In other words men and women value different things and their agendas in life are quite different thus what motivates either one to divorce?

Men= cheating wife, lets looks go, can't have their cake and eat it to..

Women= abuse, cheating, husbands wanting their cake and eat it too, husbands addicted to porn, disrespect for the women…

There are lots and lots of reasons and some so minor like she/he doesn't dress the way I want… really it does happen over something as simple as this…

Marriage is a serious commitment and while some issues can be worked out some forget that it also takes two to work things out and not just one doing all the working while the other one just goes through the motions of such… So even a partner not willing to do their part in resolving an issue is a reason for divorce…