Do you think the fear many men have, to get financially crippled in a divorce and being taken to the cleaners?
Question by Cassius: Do you think the fear many men have, to get financially crippled in a divorce and being taken to the cleaners?
is exaggerated ? Why ? Why not ? Many men fear divorce so much they prefer to cohabit.
Best answer:
Answer by Poopypuss
It isn’t exaggerated, it’s the truth.
I fear divorce so much, I’m staying married.
Oh, yeah, I also love my wife.
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
January 4th, 2012 at 4:40 pm
I agree,I stayed for several reasons the most important was my child,the second most important to me is my financial situation.How could I provide properly for my child if the ex is dipping into my funds.It was just easier to stay and work things out.
January 4th, 2012 at 5:18 pm
Its a reality. You have to be really careful. In my last marriage, the only reason I was willing to get married was because she had her own retirement. When we did divorce, she had hers and I had mine. We didn’t mess with each others…so it worked.
January 4th, 2012 at 6:09 pm
That is the main reason for a prenuptial agreement.Its a fact in a divorce you end up with half that you started out with.So the fear is not exaggerated for men or women.
January 4th, 2012 at 6:44 pm
That fear is to teach you to think with your brain, upper brain, and make a wise choice in partner. Marriage is beautiful, if you are matched with the right person,One with similar interests,background and lifestyles, one who can easily compromise and forgive and someone who loves you equally back. If you pick the wrong person then marriage is hell and ruin can follow divorce. So think first, think twice and think hard, then live happily ever after. The old saying is true, Marry in haste, Repent at leisure.
January 4th, 2012 at 7:07 pm
Yes, it’s exaggerated. But it’s their choice. If I’m not wrong, most states don’t require you by law to hire a lawyer if you’re getting a divorce. It’s actually better not to even though it’s incredibly difficult in the beginning. However, by not hiring a lawyer, you’ll educate yourself so much that after about a year, you’ll be glad you never hired one. It’s in the lawyer’s best interest to keep you dependent on them, so of course they’re not going to tell you everything. If you can file your own taxes, you can file your own divorce.
Usually it’s the higher-income spouse that feels like they get taken to the cleaners, which probably is the man in most cases. Actually, both parties get taken to the cleaners because of the lawyers. Imagine … after about a year, not owing thousands of dollars to some lawyer who never really had your best interest at heart anyway. It’s a very liberating feeling!
January 4th, 2012 at 7:52 pm
Yes. Divorce doesn’t “cripple” the main provider, people who think like that are the ones who don’t care about their own children or anything their spouse did to help them. Most divorce settlements are about provision for the *children* only. Most courts are very reasonable towards the man.
You should be careful of a man who complains about his maintenance payments. It shows he wants to walk away from his own kids & doesn’t care about their well-being.
January 4th, 2012 at 8:33 pm
its cheaper to keep her
January 4th, 2012 at 9:30 pm
These men that don’t marry the mothers of their kids aren’t afraid of divorce. They are selfish and want the ability to walk away any day without reason. It doesn’t matter to them what situation they leave the woman and his kids in. It’s their problem is his thought. Very selfish and not committed to the relationship which is very sad for the kids.
January 4th, 2012 at 9:31 pm
The ones that fear it must not have sense enough to get a prenup if they’ve got assets they want to protect…I’ve been divorced twice (ugh!) and I didn’t walk away with anything but my personal possessions and half our debt (that was on my credit cards, of which he never finished paying his part so I had to)…
In my personal experience, the fear is VERY exaggerated (for those who claim to have it)…
January 4th, 2012 at 10:26 pm
Perhaps the only people that have a legitimate right to answer this question would be people that have been married, and divorced.
I have my opinions in this, but they are just that, opinion.
That being said, I do believe that many men do view marriage with strong trepidation, much more so than women. Whether or not it is thoroughly justified is another matter.
January 4th, 2012 at 10:59 pm
I think a few things about this topic:
1. It is chauvinistic and old-fashioned to assume that the man has more to lose than the woman. I make almost three times what my husband does, and had considerably more assets than he when we married. So, I stand to lose much more than he does financially if we ever divorce.
2. A marriage is a partnership, in every sense of the word. So, it is no longer “mine” and “his”. We are in everything together–it is all about “we”. If a person isn’t willing to enter into that kind of commitment and melding of their lives, then they shouldn’t undertake a marriage. If he still thinks of “my money” and “my things”, then marriage is wrong for him on so many levels. If you can’t give all of yourself, then you shouldn’t get married.
3. If a person’s unwillingness to commit to a lifelong partnership is really based solely on money, then you can mitigate that with a prenuptial agreement.
So, I suspect that men who say they are worried about finances are really using that as a cover for deeper issues. They aren’t able to share their whole selves, so they hone in on money because that’s tangible. I suspect they can’t share many aspects of their lives. Those men should avoid marriage.
January 4th, 2012 at 11:51 pm
No, but the reason for it is their lack of knowledge on the subject, and they hire the first attorney they talk to.
http://children_of_separated_parents.dads-house.org/
http://getting_started-fathers_n_family_law.dads-house.org/
http://attorneys-hiring_the_right_one.dads-house.org/
http://divorce.dads-house.org/
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